Oh good LORD.

So, I took my first lesson on Moe yesterday (since he's been in training).

It was the most discombobulated ride I think I've ever had.  Going to the right was "okay," meaning, I did actually communicate with him about 15% of the time - got him to go soft, counterbend, bend, spiral (somewhat), and do a couple of passable transitions.  Granted, it took me several tries.  He knows what to do (thanks to Patricia), I'm the idiot who's just learning how to ask him.

Then we went left, and I was a complete brick.  And when I mean brick, I mean 5'11" of complete concrete.  My left arm would NOT move.  Nor would my leg.  I was screaming in my head - MOVE ARM!  and nothing would happen.  MOVE LEG!  nothing happened.  It was the oddest sensation - like, my whole left side just shut the f*ck down and was completely immobile.  We're talking a completely simple and easy thing to do, and I was physically unable to execute it... you can try it right now.  Sit up straight, bend your arm into a 90 degree angle, and MOVE YOUR ELBOW BACK.  Yeah, that's right, I couldn't do it.  Now try a simple "leg aid."  Stand up, bend your knees slightly (like you're doing a squat), then squeeze your left calf muscle.  Yeah, that's right.  I couldn't do it.

My shoulders completely locked up.  My elbows locked up.  My legs locked up.  The only thing moving was my wrists, which is the one thing you DON'T want to move... oh, and my heels going UP UP UP the entire time.  And me falling forward.  And my legs not anywhere on my horse's side. 

It was like someone took a "this is what you don't ever do in dressage" photo, and pasted it on my poor horse.  He was so pissed off at me.

*SIGH*  I'm going to go stand on my left leg for about an hour, then go lift a gallon of milk with my left arm.  How horrible.