The Things I Do for Moe...

Oh boy...

I feel like crawling under a rock and dying of embarrassment...  My at-home job has cut hours back, so I picked up a few promo shifts from the OTHER job I have to help pay for Moe's ulcer medication. Usually, I sell wine, which is a great job considering that I used to be a wine/liquor rep for a major distributor and the job is super easy.  Well, the wine sales are down so they suspended the program, and now I'm picking up random promotions.  Sometimes they're for toothbrushes, skin care products, hair products, etc.  Nothing ridiculous.

Well, if it wasn't ridiculous, I wouldn't be posting.  This weekend... I spent 3, gorgeous, SUNNY days stuck in a Costco warehouse, handing out samples of Olay Regenerist Cream (the wrinkle cream on crack), Oral B dental floss and...

Tampons.  Yes, tampons.

People ask me how my day went, and I had to answer, "I've been accosting people with personal feminine products."  I mean, talk about an invasion of privacy.  First, I'm saying you're wrinkly... then, you've got nasty teeth... then, you look like you're bloated and bleeding, so you need a plug.  Free!

Oh, the things I do for Moe.

Woooot!

Just had to post today.

So, at the advice of my very good friend and trainer of years gone by... I stopped with the drill sergeant attitude and did what the hell I wanted today.  :)

I sang at the top of my lungs the whole car ride, and when I got up to the barn, there just so happened to be some jumps set up... so guess what.  Me and Moe had our very first jumping session!  He was so brave and hilarious... totally took everything straight on with no running sideways or silliness, trotted over poles like a champ (while in a frame, mind you), and I was having so much fun, I forgot to worry about making left hand turns.  Apparently I made a few, however, since there were marks on the ground... :)

All in all, I jumped my pony, I cantered my pony, and had a freaking blast.  And he did too.  His little ears perked up so high, and when we were passing by the jumps, he would get all jiggily like he wanted to go back over them... so awesome today.  Nothing pretty - they were only about 12" off the ground so he really just trotted over them every time - but it was still SO much fun.

I havent had a fun day like that in months it seems.  We both really needed that.

And yes.  I wore my helmet.  :)

My new name: Derek Zoolander.

ARRRGH!!!  Cannot for the LIFE of me do a 100% lovely left hand turn.  I swear, when I finally do it, angels are going to break through the clouds with glorious trumpets and wings and sing hallelujahs.  If they don't, Moe certainly will.  To the right, we're just fine.  Not amazing, but passable.  Sometimes it's lovely, sometimes it's a little discombobulated, but most of the time, they're passable.  A far cry better than where we were 6 months ago, by no stretch of the imagination.  BUT, the left is still back there in the floppy, not responsive, waggy forearm stage.  My leg on that side isn't much better, which is stupid as fuck considering you have to USE your left leg to do a passable right hand turn.  So for some reason, as long as we're going right, my leg and arm on the left work just fine.  As soon as we change direction, it's a train wreck.  Again, ridiculously stupid.

If anything, my right should be stronger (outside rein/leg are your "wall" and "package" aids - you use this to keep them going straight, turning, counter bending, and control how low/high their head is depending on what you're doing, outside leg also keeps them straight, turns, moves haunches & shoulders, and pretty much does 80% of the work) and more steady, since obviously it's the strong side.  But no... we go left and my right side goes all wonky, too.

So what do I decide to do today?  That's right, dressage fans... I decide to work on going left.  Needless to say, it was a mess.  Did I get in a single good turn?  Nope.

*SIGH*

Fairly certain the USEF and USDF aren't going to come out with dressage tests with only right hand turns. 

Here's what I learned today:
- If a black cat walks in front of your horse while you're tracking left, you're still going to do shitty left hand turns like you've been doing.
- If you wear underwear with lace in the leg area, you're going to get chafe marks.
- If you get frustrated and try wagging your arm up and down, it's still not going to do anything (except maybe piss your horse off even more)
And last but not least,
- No matter how angry you get, changing direction and going right, and feeling how awesome it is does NOT make you feel any better about going shittily to the left.

Yeah.  Bad day.

Oh MY... Look at the Time...

Yeah yeah, it's been a while.  Again.  Life wraps you up in it's little warm embrace of lovely and snuggies with you, and getting on the computer to update a blog just blows into the back of my mind.

But WHAT an update.  Let's see.  Good news or bad news?

Okay, bad news first.

Since the last update (in late April, again, sorry sorry), Moe has had:
Foot issue:
- Hot nailed, and ended up lame for 2.5 weeks.  I love my farrier.  This was an accident, and with the number of times the guy has been out for Moe throwing shoes, I have nothing but glowing, appreciative words for him.  And, at least he kept the shoes on.
Weight Issue:
- Switched from his normal E Washington Timothy round bale to local orchard, and dropped a good 100lbs (which is BAD).
- Put on a weight gainer (hasn't worked)
- Had his grain changed to wickedly expensive/high fat content stuff that should be encased in damn gold nuggets at the price I'm paying (hasn't worked)
- Had teeth floated in May
At Moe's chiropractic session at the beginning of April, the vet and I both decided that Moe needed another good 200lbs to be in "peak" physical condition for the amount of work he's in, thus the amount of grain/hay/supplements.  Nothing has worked.  The diagnosis?  He's got ulcers.  Great.  The really bad part?  Ulcer treatment is ridiculously expensive.  Like, more than I paid for the horse expensive.  If he were an Advanced Level 4* eventer (or even a Prelim/Intermediate) or ready to go PdG or something, I'd find some way to shell out the $$ for that.  But, he's not, and I can't pay for the good shite.  So, to the generic pharmacy we go.  We'll see how that pans out and I'll keep everyone posted.

Now for the good news!

Photos!!  I know, he's not as soft as he could be, and I'm not a fluid as I should be, but... my heels are down and he's "almost" there (as Patricia is particular about saying).  When I'm by myself riding, there is NO way I'd say I'm "doing everything right" - the goal right now is for me to keep him properly on the bit/bent to the inside/using his back for longer than 3 minutes at a time without ME falling apart.  It's not easy.  But when it happens, it's freakin' lovely.  Just the feeling of your pony expanding under you, moving forward and actually making the connection in your brain that says "HEY, this is what it's supposed to feel like" is amazing.

*sigh*

2 days off = Bad Timing for 2

Well, today was "interesting" to say the least.

I think we got about 5-10 minutes of really super good riding in out of 60... which is decent considering I didn't have a lesson today AND it was coming off of 2 days off in a row for both of us.

Starting to understand what it takes to get the Moe to go soft... and it involves me letting go completely and just breathing... and keeping my leg on him.  That leg, buddy... oh, and the outside rein.   I'm finally getting my heels to stay in the correct position for about 30% of the time.  Seems like as soon as I start focusing only on that part of my riding, the rest of me goes by muscle memory and it seems to work... but the minute I start thinking "oh, I need to shorten this rein" or "oh, I need to put my weight in this stirrup" the whole thing goes to hell and Moe's head goes straight up in the air.

But then, what I think is right may not be right.  And when I ask, I start getting nervous/anxiety and then it's stiff Roe & stiff Moe.  Not good.

*sigh*  it's so frustrating sometimes.

Here we go...

So, another lesson today.

Seems like every time we go through it, we find something new to nit-pick.  First, it was my hands.  Then it was my wrists.  Then my heels... now it's my knees.  It's like dressage is nothing but nit picking everything to shreds until you're either hitting a wall or crying into your wine later that evening.  Or, doing it right... but that seems like it's never gonna happen.

*sigh*  At least I got Moe going today and didn't completely f*ck everything up all to hell.  Would actually consider today a "good" lesson, even though I felt like a fool.  Got so much to practice.  Don't know how I'm ever gonna put it all together.

Did you know, posting is more like humping than standing up?  Apparently, I'm rather pneumatic.

Long time, no pajama.

So yeah.  It's been a while.  Like a month since my last post - and while I'm NOT gonna jump up and down screaming "omigod, we're SO amazing!"... well... I'll just leave it at that.  Good part is, we're communicating more consistently.  We are.  Even when I'm out there and it's just me an ol' Moe, we're making it work.  It takes us about 30 minutes to actually get down to business - me relaxing enough to "feel him" and him getting used to me being heavy handed... but after our personal little meltdowns, we're getting about 30 minutes (out of 60) of actual, GOOD work together.

Its stupid and I can't figure out why it takes me so damn long to "get it."  Here's the simplistic formula:  Relax elbows, open chest, and set your leg on (instead of thumping him repeatedly), and the reward is that he rounds, stops tossing his head, and relaxes.  So, once I do get it... Our trot work is a bagillzillion times better than back in Dec when I first brought him home and he was Mister Giraffe-Neck.  My left side is finally doing some semblance of "work."  I'm cheating somewhat... instead of working my left elbow, I just squeeze my fingers and try to keep my wrists straight... but it seems to do what it's supposed to.  Actually, we track left better than right.  But I'll attribute that to my horrible left side (ie outside rein) when we're tracking right.  Not exactly ready for a dressage test (even a Training level one), but we're making progress.  Baby steps, one minute at a time.  I keep forgetting to ask for someone to take pictures of us... mostly it's because I don't want to bother someone with it.

Had a lesson today, too.  Think I MIGHT be suffering from performance anxiety.  Took me a good 20 minutes to calm down while we were warming up, and then people came out and sat down to watch right when we were starting to work on something new (serpentines - not exactly "new," but sort of when you haven't had to do them with an audience)... then I choked up again.  Ridiculous.  Gonna need more happy pills... *sigh*

Oh good LORD.

So, I took my first lesson on Moe yesterday (since he's been in training).

It was the most discombobulated ride I think I've ever had.  Going to the right was "okay," meaning, I did actually communicate with him about 15% of the time - got him to go soft, counterbend, bend, spiral (somewhat), and do a couple of passable transitions.  Granted, it took me several tries.  He knows what to do (thanks to Patricia), I'm the idiot who's just learning how to ask him.

Then we went left, and I was a complete brick.  And when I mean brick, I mean 5'11" of complete concrete.  My left arm would NOT move.  Nor would my leg.  I was screaming in my head - MOVE ARM!  and nothing would happen.  MOVE LEG!  nothing happened.  It was the oddest sensation - like, my whole left side just shut the f*ck down and was completely immobile.  We're talking a completely simple and easy thing to do, and I was physically unable to execute it... you can try it right now.  Sit up straight, bend your arm into a 90 degree angle, and MOVE YOUR ELBOW BACK.  Yeah, that's right, I couldn't do it.  Now try a simple "leg aid."  Stand up, bend your knees slightly (like you're doing a squat), then squeeze your left calf muscle.  Yeah, that's right.  I couldn't do it.

My shoulders completely locked up.  My elbows locked up.  My legs locked up.  The only thing moving was my wrists, which is the one thing you DON'T want to move... oh, and my heels going UP UP UP the entire time.  And me falling forward.  And my legs not anywhere on my horse's side. 

It was like someone took a "this is what you don't ever do in dressage" photo, and pasted it on my poor horse.  He was so pissed off at me.

*SIGH*  I'm going to go stand on my left leg for about an hour, then go lift a gallon of milk with my left arm.  How horrible.

Week One - Complete.

I swear, I've been cheesing like a goof for the last few days, and here's why:

Feel free to draw comparisons from these to the photo I have in the background of this blog.  This is how Moe SHOULD look with someone riding him.  Notice how in these photos, he's actually on the vertical, soft, and not running around with his head in the air like a giraffe?  Also notice the leg position.  This is what we call "tons of leg."  He is doing awesome.   EDIT: My trainer started reading the blog, and she laughed at it.  Apparently, this is not actually "tons of leg."  It's more like, "a little leg."  Shows how much I know about this whole "real riding" thing.  I have so much to learn... *sigh*

It's also pretty apparent that I bought him for the right reasons.  He's quiet, he's not a dick, and he moves fairly well.  The other horses at the barn look better than he does, move better than he does, and will probably be more competitive than him in the long run, but for what I can do - realistically - he's a perfect match.  He still needs to reach under himself a bit more - which will come with time - and he needs to be a bit more balanced, but again, that'll come with time.

I start lessons back on him next week on Thursday.  We shall see if I can make him look like this for longer than a minute.  Hopefully these stupid gym trips will pay off.

Moe and the Pile of Horsehair

Here in Washington State, we have two kinds of weather.  A Little Rain, and A Lot of Rain.  Right now, we're transitioning between the "Lot" and "Little," and the sun has actually come out for a few days, oh miracle of miracles.  During this time, we drink less coffee - it's not overcast all day, so you can actually sense the difference between morning and evening.  We also tend to drive a little slower - the sun blinds us without its protective covering of clouds and wrecks havoc on the roads.  This also means that the horses are shedding like mad.  Yesterday, instead of going to the gym like I was supposed to (naughty me), I decided to go down to the barn and groom the hell out of Moe.  This turned out to be an undertaking of extremely hairy proportions.

We're talking GOBS of hair.  It was on me, the ground, on him.  It flitted into the stalls and made the other horses sneeze... 2 hours later, when my back and arms were sore and it seemed like I'd gotten most of the loose hair off him, I realized that my sweater was now "bay" and you could barely see the aisle floor.  It looked like browny colored shag carpet had been laid down where Moe was standing.

And he still had more shedding to do.

Today, I will take some photos.  And try to get more of the hair off him.

Moe and other Musings.

Moe is a great horse.  Really.  He's almost 16.3h (which is tall for a Thoroughbred, they usually come a pretty broad range of sizes, but anything over 16.1h is considered "tall"), and put together decently well.  His legs are straight, his neck is tied in to his shoulder well, and his shoulder has a good - not amazing, but good - angle.  I was pretty proud of myself for finding him and passing my trainer's inspection.  His head, however, is super ugly.  He has small eyes, small nostrils, and small ears... AND he has sclera in one eye.  That isn't detrimental to his eyesight, it's just a visible white around the eye and it makes the horse look like it has "crazy eye."  When I first went to have a look at him, his owner was really downplaying him.  He needed weight.  He needed training.  She'd let him sit in a stall for 6 months.  She hadn't ridden him since Feb (this was December).  He rushed fences, didn't know how to go on the bit, didn't bend, etc.  But when I went out there to have a go on him, and she whipped his blanket off, I knew I was going to take him home despite his shortcomings.   There was the aforementioned conformation, which is really more important than an ugly face.  He was STEADY and had a huge, lofty trot even though it was horribly unbalanced.  He's also super quiet and actually seemed to like me - which is a huge deal for someone who gets emotionally attached to their animals (that would be me).  Also, I fit on him, which is a major selling point when you've got giraffe legs like I do.  I decided immediately that his show name was going to be Downplay, since Lightning McQueen didn't fit him at all, and Screaming Eagle (his registered track name) was just idiotic.

And, off we went.  In a short time, it was made VERY clear that he was too untrained for me to even consider tackling.  Now, don't get me wrong...  I have no problem riding an untrained horse (aka "green"), and he was fine if all I wanted to do was jump and/or trail ride occasionally, but making him work properly in a dressage frame was another story.  He doesn't buck all over the place or act like a snot or any of that foolishness... but a horse, especially one you're going to compete on, needs "buttons."  Like, transitions (walk to trot to canter, and back down again), going & staying on the bit or "vertical," working with their back as opposed to being on the forehand, etc.  I can sort of PUSH the buttons, I just don't know how to set the buttons up.  So, Moe is now in full training mode with a very reputable eventer, who is also my trainer.  Her words to me: "if you're going to ride him, just trot around the arena in 2 point and don't do anything else."  Meaning, me riding him is actually detrimental to his training.  Joy.  So I asked what else I should do while mister Moe and she are out working their butts off - considering that his training is rather expensive and the last thing I want is to confuse the poor guy once I get back on him - and she says to me...

"GET MUSCLES.  GO TO THE GYM."

I hate the gym.  Hate hate HATE the gym.  The mirrors.  The strutting guys.  The strutting women.  The boring machines that just have you stand there and repeat the same thing over and over.  But I'm going.  Pull ups and leg lifts and calf exercises and squats, oh my.  *sigh*  I can only imagine that Moe is thinking the same thing.

Welcome welcome

First things first.  Here's the back story.

My name is Roe, and I ride horses.  A lot of people say that... "I ride, too!" but in this case, it's not just a trail ride here and there, or the occasional jump-on-someones-backyard-pet.  I RIDE.  Lots.  Like, most of the time, 4 days a week.  My horse is an off track thoroughbred (otherwise known as an "OTTB"), who is quite tall, energetic, and moves fairly well.  We're not talking Olympic potential or anything, but can be competitive up to a certain level.  Up until a few years ago, I was a competitive jumper - again, not talking Olympic level by any means, but I was showing at least once a month.
That being said, you'd think that I'd be a fairly decent rider.  I actually considered myself a fairly decent rider, better than most but worse than many, to be honest... until the day I decided to start 3 Day Eventing (LOTS of jumping in Eventing, by the way).  Well, on that fateful day - making the switch from charging around a jumper course, basically kicking and hanging on for dear life to actually controlling a horse with minute muscle movements... I found that despite all my years of riding... I suck at dressage.

I am... Doing Dressage Badly.

This blog is going to be my chronicle, from point A to point X (all you dressage/eventing people will get that and for the ones who don't, I'm sure I'll explain later), starting from today until my first USEA rated 3 Day Event, which will hopefully take place sometime next year around Mother's Day.

Bear in mind, I've been riding for over 15 years.  But up until this point, it's been jumping and foxhunting and that sort of nonsense.  I've had dressage lessons in the past and am taking them now, but this is my year to be serious - it's "shit or get off the pot" time.

And here we have the photo... This is me and my horse Moe - notice the horrible, upward pointing ankles, the pinching of the knee... the shoulders and hands falling forward into my poor horses' neck.  We're talking ground zero here.  Also notice how out of shape poor Moe is.

Yes, my friends... we have a long LONG way to go.