The Things I Do for Moe...

Oh boy...

I feel like crawling under a rock and dying of embarrassment...  My at-home job has cut hours back, so I picked up a few promo shifts from the OTHER job I have to help pay for Moe's ulcer medication. Usually, I sell wine, which is a great job considering that I used to be a wine/liquor rep for a major distributor and the job is super easy.  Well, the wine sales are down so they suspended the program, and now I'm picking up random promotions.  Sometimes they're for toothbrushes, skin care products, hair products, etc.  Nothing ridiculous.

Well, if it wasn't ridiculous, I wouldn't be posting.  This weekend... I spent 3, gorgeous, SUNNY days stuck in a Costco warehouse, handing out samples of Olay Regenerist Cream (the wrinkle cream on crack), Oral B dental floss and...

Tampons.  Yes, tampons.

People ask me how my day went, and I had to answer, "I've been accosting people with personal feminine products."  I mean, talk about an invasion of privacy.  First, I'm saying you're wrinkly... then, you've got nasty teeth... then, you look like you're bloated and bleeding, so you need a plug.  Free!

Oh, the things I do for Moe.

Woooot!

Just had to post today.

So, at the advice of my very good friend and trainer of years gone by... I stopped with the drill sergeant attitude and did what the hell I wanted today.  :)

I sang at the top of my lungs the whole car ride, and when I got up to the barn, there just so happened to be some jumps set up... so guess what.  Me and Moe had our very first jumping session!  He was so brave and hilarious... totally took everything straight on with no running sideways or silliness, trotted over poles like a champ (while in a frame, mind you), and I was having so much fun, I forgot to worry about making left hand turns.  Apparently I made a few, however, since there were marks on the ground... :)

All in all, I jumped my pony, I cantered my pony, and had a freaking blast.  And he did too.  His little ears perked up so high, and when we were passing by the jumps, he would get all jiggily like he wanted to go back over them... so awesome today.  Nothing pretty - they were only about 12" off the ground so he really just trotted over them every time - but it was still SO much fun.

I havent had a fun day like that in months it seems.  We both really needed that.

And yes.  I wore my helmet.  :)

My new name: Derek Zoolander.

ARRRGH!!!  Cannot for the LIFE of me do a 100% lovely left hand turn.  I swear, when I finally do it, angels are going to break through the clouds with glorious trumpets and wings and sing hallelujahs.  If they don't, Moe certainly will.  To the right, we're just fine.  Not amazing, but passable.  Sometimes it's lovely, sometimes it's a little discombobulated, but most of the time, they're passable.  A far cry better than where we were 6 months ago, by no stretch of the imagination.  BUT, the left is still back there in the floppy, not responsive, waggy forearm stage.  My leg on that side isn't much better, which is stupid as fuck considering you have to USE your left leg to do a passable right hand turn.  So for some reason, as long as we're going right, my leg and arm on the left work just fine.  As soon as we change direction, it's a train wreck.  Again, ridiculously stupid.

If anything, my right should be stronger (outside rein/leg are your "wall" and "package" aids - you use this to keep them going straight, turning, counter bending, and control how low/high their head is depending on what you're doing, outside leg also keeps them straight, turns, moves haunches & shoulders, and pretty much does 80% of the work) and more steady, since obviously it's the strong side.  But no... we go left and my right side goes all wonky, too.

So what do I decide to do today?  That's right, dressage fans... I decide to work on going left.  Needless to say, it was a mess.  Did I get in a single good turn?  Nope.

*SIGH*

Fairly certain the USEF and USDF aren't going to come out with dressage tests with only right hand turns. 

Here's what I learned today:
- If a black cat walks in front of your horse while you're tracking left, you're still going to do shitty left hand turns like you've been doing.
- If you wear underwear with lace in the leg area, you're going to get chafe marks.
- If you get frustrated and try wagging your arm up and down, it's still not going to do anything (except maybe piss your horse off even more)
And last but not least,
- No matter how angry you get, changing direction and going right, and feeling how awesome it is does NOT make you feel any better about going shittily to the left.

Yeah.  Bad day.

Oh MY... Look at the Time...

Yeah yeah, it's been a while.  Again.  Life wraps you up in it's little warm embrace of lovely and snuggies with you, and getting on the computer to update a blog just blows into the back of my mind.

But WHAT an update.  Let's see.  Good news or bad news?

Okay, bad news first.

Since the last update (in late April, again, sorry sorry), Moe has had:
Foot issue:
- Hot nailed, and ended up lame for 2.5 weeks.  I love my farrier.  This was an accident, and with the number of times the guy has been out for Moe throwing shoes, I have nothing but glowing, appreciative words for him.  And, at least he kept the shoes on.
Weight Issue:
- Switched from his normal E Washington Timothy round bale to local orchard, and dropped a good 100lbs (which is BAD).
- Put on a weight gainer (hasn't worked)
- Had his grain changed to wickedly expensive/high fat content stuff that should be encased in damn gold nuggets at the price I'm paying (hasn't worked)
- Had teeth floated in May
At Moe's chiropractic session at the beginning of April, the vet and I both decided that Moe needed another good 200lbs to be in "peak" physical condition for the amount of work he's in, thus the amount of grain/hay/supplements.  Nothing has worked.  The diagnosis?  He's got ulcers.  Great.  The really bad part?  Ulcer treatment is ridiculously expensive.  Like, more than I paid for the horse expensive.  If he were an Advanced Level 4* eventer (or even a Prelim/Intermediate) or ready to go PdG or something, I'd find some way to shell out the $$ for that.  But, he's not, and I can't pay for the good shite.  So, to the generic pharmacy we go.  We'll see how that pans out and I'll keep everyone posted.

Now for the good news!

Photos!!  I know, he's not as soft as he could be, and I'm not a fluid as I should be, but... my heels are down and he's "almost" there (as Patricia is particular about saying).  When I'm by myself riding, there is NO way I'd say I'm "doing everything right" - the goal right now is for me to keep him properly on the bit/bent to the inside/using his back for longer than 3 minutes at a time without ME falling apart.  It's not easy.  But when it happens, it's freakin' lovely.  Just the feeling of your pony expanding under you, moving forward and actually making the connection in your brain that says "HEY, this is what it's supposed to feel like" is amazing.

*sigh*

2 days off = Bad Timing for 2

Well, today was "interesting" to say the least.

I think we got about 5-10 minutes of really super good riding in out of 60... which is decent considering I didn't have a lesson today AND it was coming off of 2 days off in a row for both of us.

Starting to understand what it takes to get the Moe to go soft... and it involves me letting go completely and just breathing... and keeping my leg on him.  That leg, buddy... oh, and the outside rein.   I'm finally getting my heels to stay in the correct position for about 30% of the time.  Seems like as soon as I start focusing only on that part of my riding, the rest of me goes by muscle memory and it seems to work... but the minute I start thinking "oh, I need to shorten this rein" or "oh, I need to put my weight in this stirrup" the whole thing goes to hell and Moe's head goes straight up in the air.

But then, what I think is right may not be right.  And when I ask, I start getting nervous/anxiety and then it's stiff Roe & stiff Moe.  Not good.

*sigh*  it's so frustrating sometimes.

Here we go...

So, another lesson today.

Seems like every time we go through it, we find something new to nit-pick.  First, it was my hands.  Then it was my wrists.  Then my heels... now it's my knees.  It's like dressage is nothing but nit picking everything to shreds until you're either hitting a wall or crying into your wine later that evening.  Or, doing it right... but that seems like it's never gonna happen.

*sigh*  At least I got Moe going today and didn't completely f*ck everything up all to hell.  Would actually consider today a "good" lesson, even though I felt like a fool.  Got so much to practice.  Don't know how I'm ever gonna put it all together.

Did you know, posting is more like humping than standing up?  Apparently, I'm rather pneumatic.

Long time, no pajama.

So yeah.  It's been a while.  Like a month since my last post - and while I'm NOT gonna jump up and down screaming "omigod, we're SO amazing!"... well... I'll just leave it at that.  Good part is, we're communicating more consistently.  We are.  Even when I'm out there and it's just me an ol' Moe, we're making it work.  It takes us about 30 minutes to actually get down to business - me relaxing enough to "feel him" and him getting used to me being heavy handed... but after our personal little meltdowns, we're getting about 30 minutes (out of 60) of actual, GOOD work together.

Its stupid and I can't figure out why it takes me so damn long to "get it."  Here's the simplistic formula:  Relax elbows, open chest, and set your leg on (instead of thumping him repeatedly), and the reward is that he rounds, stops tossing his head, and relaxes.  So, once I do get it... Our trot work is a bagillzillion times better than back in Dec when I first brought him home and he was Mister Giraffe-Neck.  My left side is finally doing some semblance of "work."  I'm cheating somewhat... instead of working my left elbow, I just squeeze my fingers and try to keep my wrists straight... but it seems to do what it's supposed to.  Actually, we track left better than right.  But I'll attribute that to my horrible left side (ie outside rein) when we're tracking right.  Not exactly ready for a dressage test (even a Training level one), but we're making progress.  Baby steps, one minute at a time.  I keep forgetting to ask for someone to take pictures of us... mostly it's because I don't want to bother someone with it.

Had a lesson today, too.  Think I MIGHT be suffering from performance anxiety.  Took me a good 20 minutes to calm down while we were warming up, and then people came out and sat down to watch right when we were starting to work on something new (serpentines - not exactly "new," but sort of when you haven't had to do them with an audience)... then I choked up again.  Ridiculous.  Gonna need more happy pills... *sigh*